[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
05.23.12
/10:07
Truth in love time: false. very false. and misguided. very misguided.
it’s so much more than that:
MAYBE: you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend because God is most glorified in your current single state. you don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend because there’s something God wants to teach you in this season. maybe you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend because it’s clearly already at the forefront of your mind, and Jesus wants the idol factory to chill before you can be blessed with such a tedious responsibility (and keeping the idol factory in check is indeed very tedious).
Jesus is not still writing your love story. He wrote it before time began. He wrote it when the Garden of Eden was created and He walked with Adam and Eve. He wrote it in not smiting them then and there, but by allowing an animal sacrifice to cover their sin. He wrote it when He chose Abr(ah)am for no reason in particular, but promised a new chance. He wrote it through Isaac and Jacob, and the lineage that carried on in the most wicked of days. He wrote it when He called Israel His bride in Hosea and Isaiah 54 and many other places, beckoning His whoring bride to come home. He wrote it as He took on human flesh and dwelt among us, bearing the weight of our disgusting, nasty sin. Not because we deserved it, but ‘because of His great love that He had for us, He made us alive with the Messiah, even though we were dead in our transgressions, for it is by grace we have been saved!’ (ephesians 2). He wrote it when He called your name, placed His Gospel in your path as a stumbling block, that you could choose to jump into His kingdom or spend your life dancing around…. He wrote it when/if you decided to come back into His family, and offered you the spirit of adoption.
MORE IMPORTANTLY: you don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend. You may be called to a life of singleness in order to serve God more fully. But that’s ok, because the ultimate love story isn’t about you. God isn’t about you and He isn’t about me. He is an infinitely big God, and the entire universe declares His glory. If you declare it better in singleness, praise God, and listen to Paul’s exhortation in 1 Corinthians 7. You don’t have to worry about going through life uncompleted, because the only depravity in you is healed in communion with your Creator, the only one who can complete you and your ultimate love story.
Any story we consider greater is a devastating idol, and one that needs to be removed. The point isn’t that you shouldn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but the point is that having a boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t the point at all. God is the point, the center, and everything. IN everything we must ask: how is God most glorified, because in a life dedicated to Him, single, dating, or married, He asks no less. Let Him romance you first and foremost, because only the Lover of your soul deserves the claim to your ultimate love story.
The ultimate romance: God’s love story with His unfaithful people
“Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the wilderness
and speak tenderly to her.
15 There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor[b]a door of hope.
There she will respond[c] as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
16 “In that day,” declares the Lord,
“you will call me ‘my husband’;
you will no longer call me ‘my master.[d]’
17 I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips;
no longer will their names be invoked.
18 In that day I will make a covenant for them
with the beasts of the field, the birds in the sky
and the creatures that move along the ground.
Bow and sword and battle
I will abolish from the land,
so that all may lie down in safety.
19 I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in[e] righteousness and justice,
in[f] love and compassion.
20 I will betroth you in[g] faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the Lord.
21 “In that day I will respond,”
declares the Lord—
“I will respond to the skies,
and they will respond to the earth;
22 and the earth will respond to the grain,
the new wine and the olive oil,
and they will respond to Jezreel.[h]
23 I will plant her for myself in the land;
I will show my love to the one I called ‘Not my loved one.[i] ’
I will say to those called ‘Not my people,[j]’ ‘You are my people’;
and they will say, ‘You are my God.
-Hosea 2
Yesterday, I realized something profound. I realized what the main relational significance was between a man chasing after the things of God, and a boy trying to play the former with impressive theology. It’s simply this: the man of God wants a woman of God as a spouse. Above all, he wants the lady that is prized far more than rubies. The boy, simply put, wants a woman of God… And hot looks. And a rockin’ body. And dare I say it, a nice “rack” too.
You see, I have witnessed so many young men being caught up with superficiality when it comes to searching for a spouse. “There are no women of God!” they grumble. That’s an insult. There are so many women out there waiting, and praying, and hoping for a godly man. What the young man is really saying is that, “There’s no hot women who are kind of spiritual and into the things of God!”
This is because pornography, Hollywood, and the world has tainted and warped the views of even the Christian male. It no longer becomes about what’s inward, because the boy is driven into the flesh. It becomes about the prettier face. Pornography and the media twists expectations of what a woman should be, even with her clothes on. A flawless face, a perfect smile, the slight pout.
I need to put a bit of a disclaimer here. I know that guys could easily throw this around and say that girls are no better. And I know that. But realize I’m not addressing the females who want a guy with the perfect looks. Rather, I’m addressing the ones who are waiting for a true warrior—the man after God’s own heart.
I can hear a protest coming on. About how I’m being harsh on my brothers. No, it’s not about that. It’s about piercing the heart with undiluted truth. I have seen this occur first hand in churches today. I have even heard with my own ears, a conversation between two boys (they were early twenties) about how they would date “so and so” if she was a little thinner and prettier. And it is truly sickening because “so and so”—whilst she wasn’t Susannah Spurgeon—she was maturing in the Lord. Yet, because she was a little overweight, she was dismissed as any sort of potential companion.
You boys don’t want a woman of God. You just want a spiritual pornstar. And it honestly makes me mad.
I am in no way gorgeous by the world’s standards. I’m just not. You won’t be seeing my face on any billboard in the future. This is not personal, and in no way am I trying to sound conceited, but there have been countless times I’ve found myself wondering what I’m doing wrong. I am pursuing God. He is drawing me. All glory to Him. And yet, I’ll see the seductive girl with the [Photoshopped] flawless face and the slimmer body who will occasionally slap an NIV Bible verse out of context as her Facebook status or a spiritualinspiration photo. And the guys love it. 36 likes later. They go wild for it.
I want to be real for a moment here. Girls like the ones on television and in pornos, do not exist. Because we all have what the world looks at as imperfections. Stretch marks, cellulite, curves, a scar here, and a scar there.
Guys, looks will fade. The man of God understands this, and pursues the woman who will complement his heart in Christ Jesus, not flatter his ego of pride. Who will bring him good, all the days of her life. Love is so much deeper than what’s on the outward.
Biblically, take a look at Jacob. He fled to his uncle, and there he met beautiful Rachel. He was smitten. Who cares if later in the marriage she was a thieving, lying, envious idolatress? She was a stunner. She was not weak eyed as her sister.
Ah, but Leah was a woman who knew the Lord. She blessed His holy name after she bore Judah. She was grafted into the Messiah’s line through her acknowledgment and love for the Lord. She was saved through childbirth. Rachel was not. Leah made the entire journey. Rachel did not. Jacob was a man of the flesh when he fell hard for Rachel. Jacob became a man of the Lord after he wrestled the angel. (Rachel died soon after).
I’m not saying that you should marry someone you are not physically attracted to. God forbid. But I am saying that the reality is that looks will fade. If you base looking for a spouse on their outward appearance, you will sorely regret it. Because wrinkles will sprout, and gray hairs will soon follow. Everything will begin to sag. And then what? What happens then? Go out and replace your spouse? It doesn’t work like that.
To the boys, man up. Realize that there is so much more to life, particularly the life in Christ, than artificial looks and fake tans. There’s an old saying that says, “Faint heart never won fair maiden.” We could turn this around and say, “Carnal heart never won God’s maiden.” Go out, and start hungering for the things of the Lord. Serve. Love. Die.
To the ladies, please, cover yourselves up. Don’t stoop low and compromise modesty just for the boys’ attention. Bring even the most carnal Christian guy honor by dressing with modesty and dignity. If you truly desire a man of God, and not an impostor boy, then do not begin flaunting your body just for the extra gazes and the occasional wolf whistle.
Girls, do not be concerned as to the lack of godly men. You will find them dying somewhere for the Lord, whether that be on the mission field, or in the prayer closet for several hours. Chase after the Lord passionately. For the man of God will recognize this—he will be running too.
05.23.12
/09:05
05.23.12
/09:05
